Claudia's Chronicles
by ZairaAlbereo
Summary: When her new student Anna finds a photograph of a mysterious man in her room, Claudia of Llanfairyngh agrees to tell Anna the story of her life, which she states is the only way to answer the question who the man in the picture is. His name is Methos.
1. The Road To Nowhere

Disclaimer: The Characters of Methos and Co belong to Davis Panzer Productions – or so I guess. All other characters belong to me. The song I used in the beginning is from Enya. I absolutly intend to do no harm and I don't see how any financial advantages are going to come finding me.

This is my first attempt to actually publish some of my stories and I will be delighted to get any feedback telling me if you liked it. I also am no native speaker, so please forgive me if I might have tortured the grammar and strangeled the spelling.

**A last warning**: As this story is about the first death of an immortal in a time some two thousand years ago there is some **strong violence** involved, as well as **rape**, although not too graphic. If you think you'd be disturbed by this don't read on.

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_**Chapter 1: **_

**The Road To Nowhere** by Zaira Albereo

_Pilgrim, how you journey_

_on the road you chose_

_to find out why the winds die_

_and where the stories go._

_All days come from one day_

_that much you must know,_

_you cannot change what's over_

_but only where you go._

_One way leads to diamonds,_

_one way leads to gold,_

_another leads you only_

_to everything you're told._

_In your heart you wonder_

_which of these is true;_

_the road that leads to nowhere,_

_the road that leads to you._

_Will you find the answer_

_in all you say and do?_

_Will you find the answer_

_In you?_

_Each heart is a pilgrim,_

_each one wants to know_

_the reason why the winds die_

_and where the stories go._

_Pilgrim, in your journey_

_you may travel far,_

_for pilgrim it's a long way_

_to find out who you are..._

_Pilgrim, it's a long way_

_to find out who you are..._

Bardsey Island, Wales 2010

She was looking out to the sea, which started to colour in shades of orange and gold in the setting sun. Just two steps ahead of her was the precipice, and way down the breakers were crashing on the rocks. Gripping the fresh green grass and soaking in the salty breeze of the sea she let loose her thoughts, letting them ramble. Let them fly far across the sea to different places and different times. Below her the sea was roaring, above her sea-gulls were yelling, being tossed about by the wind. The wind was tugging at her hair and she too felt the urge to cry out. The ocean – as always – bringing up all the emotions her ancient heart so deparetly tried to stuff away. And still it was the place she felt the most at home. That's why she had come here. Now and five hundred years ago, building first a hut which later transformed into a nice and comfortable cottage. Nowhere else you had such an amazing, endless, nearly 270-degree-view at the Celtic Sea.

This time she had not come alone. She had brought Anna, her new student, knowing this was a good place for her to come to terms with her newly discovered immortality.

She'd known Anna for some years, before her first death. She was the daughter of her friend and housekeeper Elizabeth. Beth. The wonderful, vivacious Beth, who she had come to think of as a sister. Beth, who had died in a car accident three month ago.

Anna had been in the car as well, and she too had died, but unlike Beth _she_ had woken afterwards. She was eighteen, and would in one way always be. Still so young to be thrown in the game.

Beth had known about herself. Well, not everything, but enough to not ask any questions when she would go out at night to meet a challenge. But she never told her about her daughter, and what she would be. It just hadn't seemed right to her. Anna had not known until her first death. After that it became sort of obvious.

These first month had been a hard time. And of course Anna was missing her mother. But that was a feeling she would have to learn living with, like all of them did sooner or later.

She was so captured in her thoughts, that she conciously noticed the buzz not before Anna was almost down by her side. There really was no need to worry about another immortal, the place was far to lonely, and then her sword was sticking out of the grass beside her. She looked up and met Annas smile with one of hers.

„Hi Honey, sit down."

Anna sat down to her right leaning her head against her shoulder. For a while both sat silent looking out at the sea. Suddenly Anna held two photographs out to her.

„Who is this?"

She swallowed the question where Anna had found them. She knew it. They had been in the drawer of her bedside table. The first picture she had taken herself. It was a portrait of a handsome young man appearing to be in his late twenties or early thirties. The second showed the same young man embracing a young woman, kissing her neck. The woman was her. Lost in thought she starred at the photos.

„That's Methos." she said finally.

„And who is this Methos?" Anna wasn't hiding her curiosity.

She couldn't help smiling. Who was Methos…

„Is he an immortal as well?" Anna was asking again.

„Yes. But he's... well, he's more than just any immortal. He's quite old."

„Older than you?" Anna could hardly believe that.

„Yepp."

„How old?"

„Five thousand years."

„Five thousand…!? Wow. That's...that's ancient, no that's more than ancient, that's like historical!" then she added smiling: „But he's still good looking."

"Well, we don't age do we?"

"Have you known him a long time?"

„About two thousand years."

„And are you...I mean...were you...?" Anna looked at her shyly, not knowing if she might getting to something too personal.

But her teacher and friend just smiled wryly. „Friends? Lovers? You might say that..."

Anna looked at the pictures dreamyly.

„You want me to tell you about it?"

Anna looked up with bright eyes. „Would you?" she asked, exitement in her voice. "You said you would tell me about your life?"

„Yes. I did."

"Would you now?"

"Well, it's kind of a long story but we can give it a start. I'll tell you about Methos and me. About my life. And when I talk about my life I have to talk about him, because it's connected to his ever since I've first met him." She paused, hesitating a last time. „I don't know if I ever told anybody the whole story. It's a long story. In fact it's a uncountable number of stories. Stories about great love and great pain, about friendship, about fear, about passion and about despair. And about hate and violance. Most of all however about love...

I'll tell you about it. Maybe it'll help you to understand who we are. Who I am. And what you can have."

She looked at the never ending up and down of the waves, the endless wideness of blue and white, orange and gold. In her mind she was going back. All the way back through the centuries, to the old Isle of Britain, like it had been over two thousand years ago.

„My name is Claudia of Llanfairyngh. I'm a little more than two thousand years old."

„Like all of us, I can't say where I was born, but I was found in this part of the British Island we today know as Wales. My parents, who took me in and raised me as their own child, were good and proud people. My father was a foreigner. An armorer, that had come to this land with the Romans. My mother was as deeply rooted in this soil as one can be. She was a famous healer. As their daughter I was educated unlike most other girls. My father thaught me to use the weapons he sculpt and the logical intelligence of my mind. My mother taught me all about nature and the old ways and wisdom of our anchestors. She taught me to go with my intuition, listen to my heart and find the heartbeat of creation in it.

In the year when I was found, the roman emperor was blessed by the gods with a son, who was named Claudius. My parents gave me the same name in honour of my fathers anchestry. They believed that the Roman Empire meant no harm to our independence. Caesar had landed on our island a few decades ago, but the romans had little influence and mainly at the southern coast. But the times changed. The Romans got greadier. And our family moved further north to avoid the soldiers. But my mother was attached to this part of the country. It was their home. And they were to proud to run away from what they loved. Whatever it was that held them, it should cost them their lives."

***********

**Wales, 12 a. Chr.**

They had watched the sun go down together that evening. They had sat down at the river talking about everyday stuff. Of the part of the roof that they ought to repair, of the stag she and her father wanted to shoot this week, and of the foal that her mare Blanca was expecting.

It was one of those wonderful and peaceful evenings. The night that followed wasn't peaceful at all.

She woke from the noise of shouting men and neighing horses. Burnt smell was penetrating her nose. She jumped out of her bed and ran to the hatch of the loft she was sleeping in.

The place in front of the house was crowded with roman soldiers, and now she heard them in the house as well...

She saw four of them knocking down and slaying her father.

She saw her mother being dragged outside by her hair.

Then she heard steps behind her and turned around still too shocked to think straight. All she could see was a ugly, fat and grinning mug. She couldn't even scream. He was looking at her with greed in his eyes. Behind him another two soldiers stumbled through the door, and they too started grinning and licking their lips.

She retreated as they came nearer, but behind her was the wall, and at the same moment she reached it, their grabbing and tugging hands were upon her. They ripped her clothes and started pushing her from one to the other. They beat her. They touched her. They kissed her. Until the first took off his coat.

They raped her again and again, and not only the three of them. As the sun rose behind the hills, after an endless night of pain and agony, they decided they had enough fun. The last who stood up pleased from her abused body looked at her grinning. Then he took his knife, grabbed her at her hair and kissed her hard on the mouth.

„You were good fun." He said and buried the knife between her rips. With that he turned around and disappeared through the door.

She laid there in her blood, feeling with every flood life running out of the wound. She felt cold. It would be over soon. Finally over. She felt the blackness coming, drifting into it.

And so she died.

But it wasn't over. She woke with horrible pains. She could hardly breath. Still, for one moment she thought it all had just been a nightmare. She wanted it to be a nightmare so badly.

But then she saw the blood. All the blood she and half of the room was soiled with. She was naked, but she couldn't see a wound. She starred at her body in horror. It was covered with dirt and dried blood, but as far as she could see without even a scratch. But she remembered the knife. If it had been a nightmare, where did all the blood come from? And why did she feel this pain?

She stood up slowly, covering her body with a blanket. She thought of her parents. She was afraid of what to find, but she went to the hatch nevertheless. The sight filled her with such terror, she would never forget it in her whole life. And it should take a long time until she was able to surpress this picture.

Her strong and imperturbable father lay slayed in the courtyard.

Her tender, beautiful mother lay a little further with torn clothes in a pool of blood aswell.

The stable Blanca, had once stood, was nothing more than a chared heap. They had trampled and pulled down everything and set it on fire.

She couldn't understand why she was still alive. She had seen her blood and her life flowing out of her. Why was she alive? She didn't know. And she didn't care. She only cared about one thing: She would find them and then she would kill them.

She went down to the river and cleaned her body of the blood and dirt. She couldn't clean her memories of the things that had happened last night, so she stored them to stir her hate.

Then she went back to the ruins of her home. She stacked up a large pile of wood and laid her parents upon it side by side. She set it on fire and watched as the flames started licking at the beloved faces who now had lost their sparkling life forever.

As the flames blazed up into the air she turned her back to the pile and the place she once had called home. She just walked away from this life, taking nothing with her but the sword of her father and the oath to avenge the death of those she had loved.

*********************************************

Claudias eyes were filled with tears. Even after two thousand years it hurt to speak of this night.

Annas cheaks were wet as well. „I'm sorry. I never imagined your first death to have been like this. I'm so sorry."

Claudia mananged a smile. „It's okay. It was a long time ago. I've accepted what happened. But before I did that, my thirst for revenge induced me to do things I'm not proud of..."

„What did you do?" Anna asked

„I comitted murder. I thought I had a right to do what I did. The right for revenge was an act of honor. Still, what I did was wrong, because I let my hate take over."

**********

**The forests of South Britain, 12 .**

Her parents had taught her to fight, and they had taught her well. To be able to protect oneself was a necessity. But they hadn't been warriors and neither had she. Not until now.

It was a duty she had taken on by herself. It was all that was left to do. Now that her parents were dead, she had nothing more in the world. And maybe that was the only reason she was still alive.

She followed the trace of the soldiers, going south. But it wasn't an easy task, them being on horseback and herself on foot. She knew their lead was growing.

So she was surprised when after a few days she heard voices talking in Latin about half a mile before her in the forrest. She saw the flickering shine of a fire in the twilight of the oncoming night. Slowly and carefully she sneaked further, hiding in the shadows. There were three of them. Three roman soldiers sitting around a fireplace, talking and laughing. They were much to sure of themselves to worry about the attention they might draw. This was a lonely part of the country, anyway. But not lonely enough as they were about to find out.

Claudia was hiding behind a tree, only a few yards away from them. But she couldn't see their faces in the twilight. She crawled a little further to the left, hoping to get a better view, when a stick broke under her feet. She froze. But one of them had heard something, and turned in her direction. _Damn!_ Slowly the soldier rose and started walking towards her, drawing his short sword.

„What's up?" One of the other asked.

„I think I heard something."

The other laughed. „Yeah, maybe it's one of those welsh witches or a goblin."

The soldier approaching her laughed too. Nevertheless he kept going. Claudia slowly draw her sword and waited. He was coming nearer. It were only a few more feet, and she could now see his face, but didn't recognize it. And in this moment he saw her. He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a gasp, as Claudias sword went through his chest.

In the same instant his body crushed to the ground the other two were upon their feet running to where their comrade now was lieing. But they didn't know who was hiding in the darkness, while Claudia knew damn well who was running towards her. She took the first by surprise as well, jumping out of her covering, and then her long blade also outreached their short ones. Maybe they even underestimated her, because she was 'just' a woman. Whatever it was, it was the last mistake of their life. It had not taken more than a few minutes. Claudia was breathing hard, adrenalin pumping through her veins. She took a look at their faces, but they didn't belong to the gang who slayed her family. This must have been a reconnaissance troop. She left the bodys where they had fallen, and didn't took anything from them either. The only thing being of any use for her would have been their horses, but they all had a brand, and so it was too dangerous for her to take one.

She walked the whole night, hoping not to lose the track of those she was following, if she stayed near enough to the road. She wasn't as superstitious like others, but she would not have stayed near the dead bodys for anything in the world.

**********

Claudia sighed. „They were the first I killed. But they weren't the last. I kept tracking those who killed my parents, fighting every Roman who crossed my path on the way. From one of them I took a horse that did not have a brand, which implied it orginally had belonged to one of the local farmers, who probably had not delivered it freely. Being on horseback I thought I had at least a chance to get hold of those I was following. I had long lost the trail, but still kept searching. And finally three years later, when I already had lost all hope and thought they had vanished into thin air and that I would never find them again, I stumbled across them."

***********

**South Britain, 15 n. Chr.**

Smoke was ascending over the top of the trees before her. She put spurs to her horse. She had a bad feeling in her stomach and when she reached the hilltop before her, she saw that her feeling had been right. She saw a little hut with a garden around it. The hut was burning, and the garden vanished under the hooves of the horses of the Romans.

She felt the rage rush over her. Galloping down the hillside she draw her sword. She moved among them like a fury. It were ten and she killed them all. Had they all been outside, she might not have stood a chance against them. But the half of them were inside the house occupied with the woman and her two daughters.

She could not have said who looked more shocked, the soldiers or the women, when she entered the hut. She was coverd with the blood of the soldiers that lay dead outside. In their astonishment and horror they reacted to late. By the time they realized the danger, Claudia had already cut off the heads of two of them with a powerful strike. The rest of them sprang into attack, but their tries were confused, and they stood eachother in the way. Claudia killed two more and in the same motion swung her blade at the neck of the third, stopping inches before his throat. She let out a sharp breath. She starred him in the eyes. It was one of her rapists, the last one who had killed her in the end.

„Do you remember me?" she said with a dangerously quiet voice.

Realization flashed in his eyes. „That's not possible." He mumbled. And then screamed in pure hysteria. „That's impossible. You are dead. I KILLED YOU!"

Claudia smiled a horrible smile. „Oh yeah, you did. But I came back to hound you. And kill you. But before that, I want to know where the others are. There were others with you that night. Where are they?"

„Find it out by yourself. Why should I tell you?"

„Ooh. You're not very helpful."

In a quick movement she pinned his neck to the wall with her underarm, pressing on his windpipe and piercing his knee-cap with her sword. He screamed and struggeled against her, but she already had the sword back at his throat.

„Was that reason enough?"

„Okay, okay! I tell you! I tell you! They devided our company. The others were sent back to the homecountry."

„Back to Rome?"

„Yes."

„You are a liar!" She pressed her sword harder, drawing blood.

„No! No! It's true. Only Antonius Ambroxus knows where they are now."

„Who?"

„He is the commander-in-chief back in Rome. Only he knows, where they were ordered to." He paused. „I...I'm really sorry for what I did to you."

„And that's why you were going to do the same to them?" she made a gesture to the three woman, who were still clinging to eachother fearfully.

„I'm sorry."

„Too late." And with that she sliced his throat, letting the limp body fall to the floor.

She turned around to the woman.

„It's over." She said. „Are you okay?"

They starred at her with huge eyes full of fear, noone said a word. _Well, I don't look exactly trustworthy._

„We have to bury those. If they find them you would have trouble to explain."

The mother woke out of her numbness.

„You are right. We owe you thanks for your help."

„You owe me nothing. I did this as much for me as I did it for you."

„What did they do to you?"

„They killed my parents." With that she turned around and stepped out of the hut. There were five more bodys to bury outside.

***********

„But then you didn't really do something wrong. You saved the lives of those women by killing the soldiers."

„Maybe. But I would have killed them anyway. And don't forget those I had already killed, their only fault might have been to cross my path at the wrong time." Claudia took in a deep breath. „And I wasn't satisfied even yet."

„What more could you do?"

„I went to Rome."

**********

**Rome, 17 n. Chr. The hills above the Eternal City**

It had been a long and difficult journey. And it had not been easy to find the man she wanted to find. She could hardly just walk in the ministry of war and ask.

But she finally had found him. In fact she was in this moment in Antonius Ambroxus villa. Noone had asked her in. She had come in through the window of his study, and was now hiding behind the door waiting patiently for Antonius.

She didn't even had to wait very long. After she had been standing in silence for nearly an hour, she heard footsteps in the corridor outside, coming closer. Then a man walked through the door, unaware of her presence till he felt a sword at his throat.

„Antonius Ambroxus?"

„Yes."

The man stood frozen in place. He was younger than she had thought, maybe at the end of his thirties. „Who are you? How did you come in?" he asked.

„My name is Claudia of Llanfairyngh and I came through the window. Now I'm going to ask the questions here, just to make sure we understand eachother."

She pushed him towards the desk.

„Sit down. And don't even think about crying for help. You would be dead in the same moment, I promise."

„What do you want?"

„Three years ago, you ordered back some soldiers from Britain. I want to know where they are now. And don't tell me you don't know. I know your bureaucracy." She spat out the last word as if it was something filthy.

„I think I might remember that incident. It was a group of soldiers who had gotten out of control. They pillaged farms further north."

„Yeah, but why would you care?"

„We are roman soldiers and no footpads. One of the most important things that makes our troops so successful, is the fact that we keep the dicipline."

Claudia snorted. „Tell your fairytails to somebody else. I've been there. I've seen your dicipline. And now tell me where those soldiers went to."

„You are british, aren't you? You are far away from home. Why are you so interested in them?"

„I want to kill them."

„Then you must know, that I can't tell you where they are. Why should I?"

„Maybe because I kill YOU if you don't."

„Why? You have never seen me before. I haven't done anything to you. Why would you want to kill me?"

„You are a Roman, that alone would be enough. And you are their commander-in-chief. You send them."

Antonius sized her with a thoughtful gaze.

„What did they do to you?"

Claudia leaned over the desk, looking at him with ice-cold eyes.

„They killed my father and my mother."

Antonius held her gaze.

„And if you kill them, or me, will it change anything?"

„Maybe not, but I will feel a hell of a lot better."

In this moment the door opened. Claudia jumped at Antonius side, pressing her sword to his neck again. But she had not expected to see what she saw now. The person closing the door behind was a boy of maybe seven or eight years.

„Father?"

Antonius turned pale. „Oh Jupiter. Simon. Go! Go to your mother!"

„Who is that woman, father? She doesn't want to hurt you, does she?" The boy looked at him astonished.

Claudia was frozen. She couldn't move, she could only stare at the boy. Antonius turned to her.

„Please! Do with me what ever you want, but don't hurt the boy. Let him go. Please!"

Claudia was still staring. She made a step backwards. _What am I doing here?_ Then she took her sword down.

„No, Simon. You don't have to be afraid. I won't hurt anybody." She turned to Antonius. „I'm sorry I disturbed you." She smild in resignation. "I don't think it would make sense to climb out of the window again. I wouldn't come far, would I?" _Let it be over. It should have been over long ago._

„No, I don't think you should climb back out of the window, either. You should use the door. It's much more comfortable."

Claudia looked up in surprise. Antonius met her gaze with a sad and compassionate smile.

„I'm very sorry about what happened to you and your parents. There is nothing I can say to excuse it. Maybe you are right. Maybe you've got the right to take my life for theirs."

Claudia shook her head sadly. She had never felt so empty. So small. And so alone. She looked at Simon, who was smiling at her.

„No. Too many have died already. It doesn't bring them back. You were right. It doesn't change anything."

With that she turned and walked out the door.

„Claudia." Antonius called her back. She stopped but didn't turn around.

„Thank you." Antonius said.

Claudia said nothing and walked away. What should she do now? She was alone and far away from where her home had once been. She didn't have a home had no family and no purpose and she had no idea what it was that she'd become.

Wandering through the streets she heard the voice of her father, words he had spoken to her once, what seemed now a lifetime ago.

„_When you don't know where you're going, every road will lead you there."_

Claudia lifted her head and took a deep breath. Very well. It was time to see what more was out there and where fate would lead her in the end.

TO BE CONTINUED

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A/N: Don't worry! Methos is in this story and will appear in the next chapter and from there on out. But since this story is (mostly) told from the perspective of an original character I felt the need to explain her background.

Reviews are very much appreciated!


	2. The Road To Somewhere

**_Chapter 2:_**

**The Road To Somewhere** by Zaira Albereo

**Wales, 2010**

Anna eyed Claudia who had fallen silent.

"So what happened then?" She asked eagerly. "Did you meet Methos then?"

Claudia grinned. "Not just yet." she said with a smile. "First I went to Greece."

"Why Greece?"

"Because it was in the opposite direction from where I'd come from. In every possible way."

Anna frowned.

"I wanted to run away from what I'd become, leave it behind and never look back. Turned out it was the wrong direction for that kind of plan." She smiled to herself. "But my father was right after all. I had no idea where I was going, and the road lead me there just fine."

"To where?"

"To the answers I was seeking. Because finally I came across another immortal."

*************

**Greece, 18 n. Chr.**

**The west coast of Macedonia**

With her desire for vengance Claudia had lost the force that had driven her through all those years. It had been the only sense of living. She had believed, that it had to be meant that way, that her miracelous rise from death had the one single reason to avenge the death of her loved ones. She soon had learned that she had become something different. She could get hurt, but the wounds would close in almost no time. She wasn't even absolutly sure she was still human.

She had wanted to bring death to those who had inflicted it but in the eyes of Antonius son she had seen the innocence she had lost on that day six years ago. In killing the father she would have made the son a monster of her likeness.

So she had walked away, but where to? Britain, the island of her fathers, the land of the green hills and white coasts she had called her home, seemed even further away now. And so she just had turned around and kept riding into the sunrise. She didn't know who she was anymore. A perversion? Or a protagonist in the game of the gods?

She had crossed the Mare Adriaticum to Macedonia, and here she was standing now at the shore not far from Dyrrhachium, where Caesar and Rome had suffered a rare defeat a couple of decades ago. Still it belonged to the roman province now. But the Greeks were the Greeks, and the Romans were "nothing new under the sun" for them.

She had heard of Dyrrhachium. The trade route from Constantinopel ended there and the town was settled with wealthy merchants, but also writers, philosophers and politicians. She knew nothing about any of this, but to her it sounded like the exactly opposite of what she had left behind. It sounded perfect.

She straightened her shoulders, feeling the hard hilt of her sword between her shoulder blades. The sheated blade ran far across her back. It made her feel comfortable. The sword was the masterpiece of her father, it had protected her ever since he hadn't been able to do so anymore. The sword had also killed a lot since then, it was true, but then who would blame the messenger for the speerings. It would remind her who she had been in the new life she was determined to start. If the gods of fate had other plans for her she was certain they would let her know. If it pleased them.

She made her way to the town that lay blazing in the midday-sun. Only few people were on the dutsy streets. Claudia followed a wider one that led to a big market place. Seeing all the stands loaded with every food that possibly existed in the world, her eyes watered and her stomach rumbled. She had been running with none to little food for a very long time and something like this she had never seen before. She crossed the place to a big stand with fruits and vegetables in every color, with hills of strong flavoured spices in red, brown and yellow, platters of roasted chicken and lamb and big brown wheels of crusty bread.

A pot-bellyed man with small eyes was standing there. Claudia stepped towards him. "Friend, I haven't eaten for days. Would you give me some of your bread? It really looks delicious."

"Well, of course my lady." The man said with a smile and handed her one of the loafs. Claudia bit into it with a sigh. "That's one silver coin." the man said.

Claudia looked up. "I'm afraid I haven't got a single coin to pay you, but I won't forget your generosity."

The smile of the man faded immidiatly. "Generosity? If you don't want to pay, don't eat!" he said and grabbed for the loaf.

"I travelled for a long time and I'm very hungry. If I could pay you I would." Claudia said irritated.

"Of course you would! I just have to take a look at you to see how honorable you are. Try to defraud somebody else! Now make yourself scarce! We don't want scum like you on our streets!"

In anger Claudia drew her sword, putting it at the throat of the man, who gapsed in horror. "Now all I did was ask quite kindly for something to eat. What kind of place is this where honorable people get insulted by a whimp like you?"

"Help! Guards! Someone help me! Guards!" the man started to cry in panic.

Disgusted Claudia looked at him and sheathed her sword. She was just turning her back to the merchand when two guards with long spears were running towards her.

"Arrest her!" the merchant cried. "She stole from me and then she nearly killed me. Thank god you came soon enough! "

"What!?" Claudia regarded him in disbelieve.

The first soldier thrust the tip of his spear in her direction. "In the name of Rome, you are arrested! You better don't resist!"

Claudia sighed deeply. Now, here she was trying to find peace and leave the bloodshed behind! "I don't want to kill you." she said to the soldiers.

"Then better leave your sword where it is, otherwise we have to kill YOU." the second soldier replied.

"And if I do you won't?" she asked sceptical.

"No. We'll bring you to the district judge. If you get cleared you can walk away."

Thinking, Claudia looked from one to the other. If she wanted to change her life, she had to give it a try. "All right." she said and shrugged.

"We'll have to bind you." the first soldier said a little nervous.

After a moment of hesitation Claudia put out her hands in front of her, and the second soldier knotted them tighedly. Then he spoke to the merchand. "You have to appear in front of the judge to make your accusation."

The merchand didn't look too happy about this anymore but he said of course he would come.

They marched her to a big white building and told the guards at the entrance they had a prisoner to be taken to the judge. "The armorer is with him." One of them told them. "You have to wait down here, until Julius Judicus is finished." They entered and Claudia was pushed on a small bench next to a flight of marble stairs. Everything of the interior seemed to be marble.

A few minutes later two men were coming down the stairs and Claudia suddenly felt dizzy although it was quite cool inside. A strange sensation tickeled down her spine and in her ears it was rushing. She looked up to the two men. One had to be Julius Judicus. He was dressed in the robes of a an high roman official. The other had greying hair and dark intelligent eyes. He was moving with the grace of a cat, but also with a habit of superiority Claudia found that astounding next to the district judge. If this was the armorer, it had to be more to him than just his craftman-ship. And his eyes were resting on her now.

"I will have somebody send to you for this, Ramirez." Judicus said to the mysterious man.

"Good." Ramirez hadn't taken his eyes from Claudia. "Whom do you have there?" he said with a short nod in their direction.

"Just another piece of criminal scum, I believe." Judicus said with not much more than a side glance.

"She has quite an interesting piece of smithery there with her, if I see it right. Maybe I could talk to her after you're finished?"

"Well, that depends on her punishment, doesn't it?" Judicus turned to the soldiers that were waiting with Claudia. "What did she do?"

"A merchant accused her of stealing and trying to kill him."

Ramirez and Judicus had come closer now. And Ramirez looked Claudia up and down.

Her clothes were faded thin and had seen cleaner days. The rim of her cloak was crusted and her chestnut hair was long and tangeled with small plaits running through it. She was too tall for a greek woman, but then she wasn't one. Her skin was too fair, though burned from the sun. And her eyes were the most amazing color of turquoise he had ever seen. On a guess he would have said she was from one of those nordic people, like the Viking or the British.

And her sword really was a piece of art.

"She doesn't look to me, as if somebody she tried to kill would live to tell the tale." Ramirez said to Judicus.

"Hmm. What about the stealing?" he asked

"I don't steal." Claudia said with a trace too much contempt in her voice to let it go unnoticed. "I just asked him for something to eat. Then he suddenly insulted me."

"And although that, he still is alive." Ramirez said amused to Judicus. "It seems to me, we have an extraordinary generous woman here. Probably the merchand wanted to cheat her for her change."

"I did not give him any money. I had none." Claudia said stealy.

Ramirez gave her a look that clearly said 'Shut your mouth.'. "Well, I guess you wanted to come back and pay him." He said lightly, trying to turn the story in the right direction again.

"No. But I would have shown the same generosity to the next one who crossed my path needing help. Like every honorable person would."

"There you see, Judicus. She is a honorable person." Ramirez said. "Who was the merchand?" he asked the soldiers.

"Antiochus the Heratheker." The second soldier said.

"Ah, he's a miser and a usurer!" Ramirez said disgusted. "I'm sure this woman did nothing wrong to him, Judicus."

"Well, if you're so certain, Ramirez, I shall let her go and leave her in your responsibility." Judicus said. "Cut her!" he told the soldiers and they did.

Claudia rubbed her wrists and looked at Ramirez suspiciously. But he just grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of the courthouse. "What did you do that for?" Claudia hissed when they stepped outside. "If you think I'm going to show my thankfulness in your bed, think again!"

Ramirez let her go and cocked an eyebrow at her. "Oh. You are thankful? That must have slipped past me."

Claudia pierced him with a look. "I AM thankful. I just can't imagine why you would have done this without thinking there is something in for you!"

"What about the generosity you undoubtly will show the next person who would cross your path needing help?" He asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

Claudia looked away, pressing her lips together. "It doesn't seem to be much of a habit in this country." she mumbled.

Ramirez looked her up and down and finally asked, his tone gentle. "You have no idea who I am, have you?"

"I'ver never met you before!"

"I am like you are. But then you probably don't know who you are either."

"I am Claudia of Llanfairyngh."

"...and you can't die."

Claudia gasped. "How... how can you know this?"

"Because it is the same for me. My name is Jochus Ramirez. I was born in Egypt eight hundred years ago."

**************

"Ramirez became my teacher. From him I learned who I am, about the game and the rules. But I also learned to accept myself and what I had done. I learned to overcome my hate and see the Romans for what they were." She swept in a foreign accent " '_An awful pain in the arse, when you take the whole bunch of them, but quite nice and educated people if you look at them individualy.' _as Ramirez would have put it."

"He was a great friend and a good teacher." she added sadly.

„So are you. I can be very greatful that I had you with me right from the beginning." Anna hugged her out of a sudden emotion. „Thanks." She whisperd at Claudias shoulder. „Thanks for being there for me."

Claudia smiled.

„I will remind you of it tomorrow, when you are mad at me because I dumped you on your sweet little butt again."

Anna smiled too.

„Shell I go on?"

„Yeah. Please. What about this Methos? When did you met him?"

„One thing after the other... Ah, well... the first time I saw him was not many years after I left Ramirez. On a battlefield in Scotland."

**************

**Mons Graupius – Britain, 83 n. Chr.**

Claudia let her eyes wander over the beautiful green fields down below her. Soon they would be soaked with the blood of soldiers of both sides. She knew the roman garrisons were waiting behind the hills. Soon. Very soon...

Ramirez had taught her to bury her hate against Rome. But she might not have a real home anymore, but this was still her country. Britain was still her island. They had done enough to it. And although she knew it wouldn't be right to treat all alike, and that today good men would die on both sides, she couldn't let them just take what ever they wanted. Not without fighting back. They had negotiated. They had tried. Now there was nothing left to do.

They would fight. And the Romans would win. She knew that. And the others knew it as well. They might be hoping for a miracle, praying to the gods, but they all were prepared to die in honor. She could only hope, that the Romans had the same sense of honor, and wouldn't pillage the villages and kill innocents.

Why had it to be like this? Couldn't the Romans just stay at home? She laughed at herself humourlessly. She turned her mare around to the other side of the hill, where her people rested. Soon...

And then she heared it. First it was only a shudder in the air. The mare was trippling nervously, she felt it too. Claudia patted her neck soothing. And then she saw it. It was like a tidal wave of gold and red that poured over the hill. In the same moment the army below her woke with a yell that made the hills shake. Claudia yelled too, as the warriors reached the hilltop and let the bridles of the mare slip through her hands.

She draw her sword. She saw the roman troops come nearer so very fast. Then they stopped and errected their shields. Claudia knew what was going to happen now, she heared the whistle in the air and ducked behind the neck of the horse, as the deadly flight of arrows swept over her head. She heared the screams as people around her crashed to the ground. She pressed her face in the mane, feeling the power of the horse beneath her. They had to break through the lines, or they all would fall before the fight had actually begun. The first line came nearer. _Just a little more..._ and then she crashed into them. And she wasn't the only one, the line shuddered...and fell apart. She rode into the archers felling them like young trees. But behind them were more soldiers and more. She couldn't look after the others anymore, she just sliced and killed her way through the fighting crowd.

Then suddenly she felt it. First just a whispering in the back of her head, then the buzz crashing into her senses. She looked around her wildly, tearing her horse around. Her long red hair fluttered in the wind. Where was he?

And then Claudia saw him. About twenty yards before her. He stared at her and for an endless second she stared back. The fighting around her sounded strangely subdued...

_He couldn't think or move. He could only stare at her. He had waited his whole life, he had hoped that she existed, but he had been losing the faith. Now, there she was. She seemed to fill all of his senses. He saw glimpses of his life running before his eyes. He knew only one thing: That she was the most georgeous woman he had ever seen in his whole long life._

A bomb of hot pain exploded in Claudias back and chest. They stared eachother in the eyes, as her view blurred and she slowly slid down from the back of the mare. She was dead before she touched the ground.

He saw her sliding down. The tip of the spear that had been thrust in her back coming out front. He put spurs to his horse, crashing and slicing through the crowd trying to reach the point where she had gone down. But the field was wide and full of dead bodies and those who were still alive kept coming on to him, pushing him off to the side. But then they became less and less, as the roman supremacy overrun them.

Finally he jumped down from his horse and made his way through the bodies. Flies were buzzing over the dead all around him. The smell of human flesh drying in the sun almost intoxicated him. But then he saw a bunch of chestnut hair flapping in the breeze.

He picked her up. The spear which had broken was still sticking in her chest and he didn't pull it out. This would be easier as long as she was dead.

Claudia revived with a scraping breath. She was lying under a tree. She could see the light of the setting sun through the leafes above her. Her chest was still pure agony. But there was a soft hide lying across her. Slowly, with the blood coming back to all parts of her body she sensed that there was somebody with her. With difficulty she sat up, looking around. She was at the edge of a forest, and across from her a roman soldier was sitting by a small fire, watching her. It was the immortal from the battlefield.

Obviously he had brought her here. What for? She took a quick look around for her sword and found it on the ground a few steps from the immortal, who still remained silent. She stared at him. He was much too good looking for comfort and much too intense. The air around him seemed to radiate with energy.

"It would have been easier to kill me when I was out cold." she said finally.

He smiled. "Seems still pretty easy from here. You don't have a sword."

"Maybe I don't need one. I could run."

"I'm faster than you are."

"Pretty sure of yourself, are you?"

"Pretty."

In that moment she turned a somersault and grabbed for her sword. He had jumped up the same moment and when she landed on her back she did have her hand on the hilt of the sword, but he had the tip of his at her throat. She briefly recognized, that it wasn't roman, but long like hers. He smiled down at her.

"You thought I'd be that stupid?" he said standing over her grinning.

"No. I thought you'd be this stupid." she said and kicked him right between his tighs.

He howeled and staggered backwards. "Damn! Holy rotten..." He mumbled a few more niceties she didn't understand. "Now why did you have to go and do that?" He asked outraged.

"So, I can do that." She said jumping to her feet with one movement, raising her sword.

"So. You want to fight."

"In opposition to sitting down and letting you kill me? Yes."

He shrugged. Then with the grace of a cat he jumped forward and striked. She blocked, but the force of his blow went through her to the toes and before she came to her senses she was in the middle of a sword fight like she never had expierienced it. His blows were powerful and still with a surprising precision, his movements graceful and elegant like a dancer. Well, in the last Claudia wasn't that inferior, and she had a lot of strength for a woman. She had learned a lot from her father and Ramirez too, but this Roman seemed to know her every move before even she did and then he did some motions she not even knew how he managed it.

Soon her blood was running warm and sticky down her arm from a cut he inflicted on her shoulder and her coat too was soaked with blood above her left tigh. At last she found an opening and immidiatly stroke. He jumped back but her blade cut through the cloth and the flesh beneath, coloring it red. Strangely he smiled at her in appreciation. But then he attacked, forcing her backwards and she stumbled over a root and crashed backwards into the trunk of the tree. She tried to steady herself and felt a blow on her wrist. Her sword went flying and in the next moment his blade was at her throat.

The scenery froze. Claudia stood pressed to the trunk breathing hard, not moving. Her head layed back she felt the cold, sharp steal on the vunerable skin of her throat and looked up into those eyes. They flashed with fire, triumph, passion and desire. And they stared right at her. She could feel his warmth, could smell his sweat. And suddendly the sword was gone and his lips were warm on hers. It was a kiss she could never have imagined and she returned it without thinking, desire burning her inside out. He draw back a little looking at her.

"What are you doing?" she mumbled.

"I never said I want to fight." he said

And when he lunged for her again, she couldn't stop herself. They kissed eachother half out of their minds, hands searching their way through linen and leather, sinking down in the grass.

They didn't stop until hours later, when they finally fell asleep exhausted.

When Claudia woke up, the new day was dawning. Her head lay on his shoulder, his arm around her and his cloak was tucked around them. She raised her head a little, looking at him.

He looked back, smiling slightly. "My name is Methos." he said.

TO BE CONTINUED

* * *

A/N: Please review! Thank you.


	3. Almost Lost Faith

_**Almost lost faith**_ by Zaira Albereo

Authors Note: The song I used in the beginning is from a German band called "Juli", which means July. I translated the lyrics, trying to keep the flow.

* * *

_With every wave came a dream_

_but dreams just go by_

_your board has gone dusty_

_your doubts are foaming over_

_you've waited all your life_

_you've hoped that she existed_

_you've almost lost the faith_

_you've not moved the slightest_

_now she's slowly coming up to you_

_the water slaps you in the face_

_you're seeing your life like a movie_

_you can't believe she's gonna break_

_this is the perfect wave_

_this is the perfect day_

_just let yourself be beard_

_the best is not to think it over_

_this is the perfect wave_

_this is the perfect day_

_there is more than you know_

_there is more than you say_

Bardsey Island, Wales 2010

Anna looked at her friend and teacher with unbelieving eyes.

"You just… did it? You didn't even know his name!"

Claudia looked a little caught in the cookie-jar. "Well, things were a little different back then." she grumbled.

"Although he was your enemy?"

Claudia left eyebrow crept upwards. "Hey! What are you? The Vice Squad?" she exclaimed.

Anna grinned. "I'm sorry, Tia… please, go on!"

"I don't know… maybe you are just not old enough yet…"

"Oh Tia, come on!" Anna hung on her arm, looking at her with huge eyes. "Please! Don't be mad at me."

Claudia laughed. "Stop that act. I haven't fallen for it since you were four."

Anna laughed too. "Yeah, mom was always much easier to get bye…"

"As I remember, you could be really annoying... this "hair-incident" when you were eight! Duncan really was pissed."

"Yeah, so, what happened with you and Methos? Did you live happily ever after? And why did I never met him?" Anna obviously was keen to change the subject and Claudia agreed..

"Methos always has been a little complicated… he was already three thousand years old when I met him. That's a lot of life. And back then life was tough, much tougher than you can imagine. And so there were things in Methos past that haunted him, although he was trying very hard to leave them behind…"

********************************************

**Britain, 83 n. Chr.**

Methos had woken with the first light of dawn. He looked beside him. No, it hadn't been a dream. She was still there, lying in his arms. He could feel her warm skin against his, a strand of her long chestnut hair tingling his cheek. He slowly came up on his elbow, careful not to wake her.

He couldn't stop looking at her. She was a warrior, but lying there in her sleep she looked more like a nymph. But then he wouldn't make the mistake to underestimate her. When he first had seen her on the battlefield he had known that this creature on the black horse was a force of nature. And somewhere in his heart he wondered if she wouldn't destroy him.

'_Run!'_ a voice in his head whispered. _'Run, as long as you have the chance!'_

But he couldn't detach himself from what he saw there in his arms.

In this moment Claudia stirred and opened her eyes.

"My name is Methos." he said with a smile.

Claudia smiled back. "I'm Claudia of Llanfairyngh."

"I'm delighted to make your aquaintance."

"Methos..." Claudia said. The name rang a bell." I think I actually have heard of you."

"You did?"

"I heard of a commander who stopped the massacres and the pillaging of some troops further south. They said you stood up to a whole army."

"You know how these stories are exaggerated."

"Maybe. I also heard your men would hand out food to the families."

"Don't mistake me with the hero…" Methos obviously didn't like being made that and Claudia let it pass.

They gathered their belongings and set out together, Methos briefly irritated to find two horses where he had left one.

"I didn't bring your horse."

"It always finds me." It wouldn't be the last surprise Methos would have around her.

When they reached the hill above the battlefield they stopped and Claudia had to swallow back the nausea that crept up in her. The hills were red. Those who had been slayed were baking in the sun, flies were buzzing over them and crows where picking at the dead faces.

Claudia turned her horse. "I can't." she said softly. "These were people I knew. People I ate and drank and danced with. It's such a waste."

"It is." Methos said.

"Then why did you come here?" Claudia asked a little bitter and not at all sure she meant the Romans and not him specifically.

Methos met the challenging question. "I became a Roman. I became a soldier. I was sent here. What brings you anywhere? Decisions. There are good ones, there are bad ones. Sometimes you'll know, sometimes you won't."

"Have been around for a while, have you?"

"Three thousand odd years."

"Three thousand? Woof. That's a lot. How was it back then?"

"Can't remember, really. Like now, I guess. Empires rise, empires fall. Nothing changes much."

They rode in unity.

"You probably have to get back to your unit?" Claudia asked after they had ridden for a while in silence.

"Where are you going to go?" he asked instead of an answer.

"I don't know."

"How about coming with me?" Methos asked

"And then what? Watch you fight my people?" she asked with a sarcastic edge, reminding him that they were enemys.

"I've been ordered back to Rome. Actually I'm thinking about retiering."

"Rome." Claudia looked doubtful.

"You've ever been there?"

"Just once. But I didn't really do the sight-seeing routine. I…uh, had other things in mind."

Methos gave her a questioning look, but she didn't give anymore explanations and he let it pass.

"In my opinion, if you have to live in the Roman Empire, it's best to do it in Rome. The honey coated ants in the Colosseum are delicious, although the showings aren't really mine. I have this place on the hills. Quite a view you have from there, although not like the one at this little summer place I owned once just outside Herculaneum… won it in a wager… unfortunately it was destroyed when that idiot Tacitus thought it was a good idea to behead another immortal on Holy Ground… " he knew he was babbling, but couldn't really stop himself.

"It really was the reason for Pompejis destruction then?" Claudia asked amazed. She had heard of that incident but it was just a rumor she and Ramirez came across on their way back from Galilea, before they had split up.

"Yeah. Tacitus always was a little rash when you got him in rage." Methos said shrugging.

For a while neither of them spoke. Then Claudia stopped her horse and said "All right."

"All right what?"

She turned her horse, so that she was facing him. "I'll come with you."

"Well, that's great. I mean, we're going to have fun." he said trying to sound nonchalant while his heart was leaping.

"Yeah. I think we will." She said smiling. He rode up to her then and kissed her and she kissed him back, wondering how it could feel so good to kiss the enemy.

When they were riding back in the direction of the roman camp, Claudia looked at Methos from the side.

"Just one thing, Methos…"

"Hm?"

"Tell me you joked about the ants!"

********************************************

"Tell me he was joking!" Anna said.

"He was joking."

"Thought so."

"He didn't really like the ants. He was much more for the peacock brains."

"Urgh!!"

*********************************************

**Rome, 84 n. Chr.**

They had taken the journey to Rome on the water this time, which brought them on a lot faster. Rome, Claudia had to admit that, was quite an experience, although not always a good one. There was the architecture, their were the bath houses, there was the art and the food… but there also was a decadence and lavishness Claudia couldn't really cope with.

Where she had come from, people were used to work hard for their living. Claudia had helped on the fields since she could walk. She had gone hunting and fishing. Her mother had taken her into the forests and shown her where to find the right herbs to heal the sick, and her father had shown her how to anvil and forge from the point she could lift a hammer. People did not have much but they were proud of their work and to help another was a point of honor.

In Rome everything was different. There were people who worked hard and others who wouldn't work at all. Still those who did the work usually were the poorest. There were people who bathed in milk and others, who were so poor they had to beg for pittance on the streets to get some food.

Methos, she found out, was not only an entertaining tour guide, but a man full of surprises. He seemed to live a good life but still was kind to the pauper and treated the few servants that lived in his house, like they belonged to his family. But then he was a man with secrets as well. He wasn't very talkative about his past and sometimes he would go out without sharing his reasons. Normally Claudia wouldn't object, they both were independent beings.

But one evening after they'd been in Rome a few month and Methos again left the house without explanation, Claudia just got a bad feeling in her guts. She knew better then to ignore her instincts - and went after him.

Methos took the steps up to the temple, his senses sharpened. Larus had asked him to meet here and he had accepted. This was Holy Ground, let's see what he wanted. He felt the buzz, so the other immortal must already be there. When he stepped into the inner courtyard a man came out of the shadows.

"I didn't think you would come." he said.

"Why wouldn't I?" Methos replied.

"I didn't think you'd be that stupid." the other said in this instant Methos felt a sharp pain cutting in his chest and looked down only to see an arrow sticking out of it. It hurt like hell. It always did.

"What are you planning, Larus?" he coughed, reaching for his sword. But it was no use here. This was after all Holy Ground.

"To watch you die." Larus said coming closer. "And then take your head."

"No! That's…"

"Oh please, don't tell me about the rules. Rules are for losers."

Methos staggered backwards trying to reach the steps, he felt his warm blood running out of him while his limbs grew colder. He fought a loosing battle. He was dying. So, this was how it was going to end. After three thousand years, maybe it was enough. But a face was swimming before his eyes… and he didn't want to die.

But he did anyway.

Claudia reached the roof of the temple's front building in the same moment Methos finally fell to the ground. She felt her blood rush, her rage and fear mingled in it. Methos was lying defenseless in the middle of the large courtyard, only slightly illuminated by the half moon, looking through the heavy clouds.

She took her bow. She took an arrow. The temple darkened again as the moon vanished, but she probably just had this one chance. The immortal in the courtyard was looking around wildly as her buzz reached him… and she shot. The arrow whirred through the air and hit him just a little down his left shoulder.

He cried out in pain and anger, stumbling back and clutching his chest. "Get him!" he shouted to the darkness behind him. And Claudia saw the movement of a shadow between the arches on the opposite side of the courtyard. It had to be a mortal, at least she didn't feel a buzz. Silently she crept nearer on the balustrade towards the arches, always staying low in the shadows. Methos was still out cold and probably would stay that way until the arrow was removed. The other immortal on the other hand, while lying on the ground now, wasn't dead yet. Claudia had obviously missed his heart by a few inches. Still even he seemed to be afraid to break the one rule that had brought Pompeji down only five years ago. He must have planed to remove Methos as soon as he was dead and take his head outside the temple. _How unsporting of him…_

Claudia glanced a last time at them, then concentrated on the mortal shadow that was sneaking in her direction. Unfortunately the thought hadn't occurred to him to look for her a little more upwards. Therefor Claudia just had to wait for him to pass below her and then jumped down her sword in hand. With a small noise she landed on her feet just behind him. He turned with his sword drawn and lunged for her head. Claudia ducked and with the same movement buried her blade in his chest.

"Noooo!!" it was the cry of a dying man, but with a last force, Larus came to his knees and looked at her with murder in his eyes. "You will regret that for the rest of your short life! I will find you and then you will beg me to kill you!"

"Yeah, fine. Get yourself an appointment. And don't make it Holy Ground then!"

But the immortals eyes glazed over before he could answer and so Claudia went over to Methos body, removed the arrow and took the lifeless weight on her shoulders.

She didn't want to take a risk and so she slung him over her horse and rode straight towards Methos villa on the hills. He stirred when she was heading up the road to his place but it wasn't before she stopped at the entrance to the property, that he had recovered enough to sit up. He slided from the horses back and sat down hard against the surrounding stone wall.

When Claudia jumped down as well Methos looked at her. "You saved my life. You risked your own to save mine… why would you do something that stupid?"

Claudia gave him a wry look. "You're welcome."

"I didn't say 'thank you'."

"Well I assumed, this little speech was your own strange way to do so."

"I don't want you to risk your life for me!"

"And I don't want **you** to die!"

She held out a hand to him and he grabbed it still looking grudgy.

"Oh come on, cheer up! You can make it up to me." Claudia said.

"Really?" he said, not quite able to hide his grin. "And how would I do that?"

"I guess you'll find a way…" Claudia said grinning as well.

There was a thunderstorm coming up and the first drops of rain were already coming down, so they headed for the house but didn't quite make it before the downpour began, and when they got to the entrance they weren't exactly dry anymore. They started to kiss and undress each other, and as the force of the thunderstorm grew, their kissing became more and more passionate.

Still their love-making was slower and more intense than it had ever been before and while the storm was howling outside and the thunder was rolling, and they were clinging to each other in a infinite rhythm Methos started to see flashes of events before his eyes he didn't recognize. _A house in the forest, a couple with smiling faces, green hills and a lake with a waterfall where he was swimming… and then flames, the smiling couple slaughtered, roman soldiers grabbing him… raping him!_

Methos was too shocked at first, but when he noticed the look on Claudia's face it dawned on him, that this was not a one-way-experience, and that while he was dipping in her sub-conscious, she was doing the same with his. Panic flooded his brain, as he grew aware what she must be seeing. The look on her face told him he was right. It was the look of utter terror.

He withdraw himself from her at once, retreating to the other side of the room. He was shaking. What had she seen?

Claudia was to horror-struck to move. What she had seen, in what she knew must be glimpses from his past, had been sickening and ghastly. It all had gone so fast, pictures crushing into each other. _Villages burning, screaming, men being killed by her, woman being raped by her, blood and fire and death and in between always men with masks on horses, a peaceful camp of nomads turned to ashes while a small girl was being raped in front of her, pain, so much pain and humiliation, she was raped, she was tortured, she couldn't take no more but it didn't stop, it didn't stop…! _

Slowly she raised her head and looked at him with tears in her eyes. He was clutching a blanket, starring at her so terrified he was frozen. His breathing came hard, like a trapped animal.

The tears were running down Claudia's face now. "What have they done to you?" she whispered.

Methos heart beat even faster. He didn't want to ask. He didn't want to know. "What have you seen?" he croaked.

She looked him in the eye. "You. I've seen you. I've seen all that atrocity that happened to you…"

"You mean that happened because of me."

"No. I…I felt your pain, your fear, your…humiliation."

"Really? Well I felt your pain and humiliation too!"

"You've seen my first death?" she stood up and slowly stepped towards him.

"Yeah. That Romans could have been me!"

"No. Not anymore." she stretched her hands out to him.

"You don't understand!" he cried, retreating further. "What you've endured, I have inflicted."

"I know. How long ago?"

"A millenia…"

"And before that?"

"I can't remember."

"That's not true. I've seen the horror that happened to you and yours inside your head."

Methos grew ashen. "Oh God…"

Claudia then closed her arms around him. "I'm not a saint Methos. You've seen what I endured, but not what I became afterwards. I killed every roman soldier that crossed my path. First I only wanted to kill the ones who killed my parents and raped me. But my hate got out of control, it didn't matter anymore. One day I saw myself through the eyes of a little boy, whose father I had come to kill, and I understood that I had become what I was fighting."

"What did you do?"

"I went away, I tried to change, to live my life differently."

"I slaughtered through what you today know as Persia for centuries. Ever heard of the four horsemen of the apocalypse? You think you can compare this? You think you can just walk away from that?"

"No. I wouldn't in the world presume that I can imagine what you went through. But I think I know whom you have become. Not a saint either. But a strong man. A wise man. A good man."

"You don't know that." he said with pain in his voice. "You don't know anything about me."

"Let's say I have a knowing heart. And a pair of very well working eyes to go with it."

She reached out for him and gently stroked his face. He closed his eyes in pain. He had been sure that if she ever would find out who he was – which he had intended to never let happen – she would at least leave him cold if not come for his head.

"How can you not hate me after what you have seen?"

"It's not my duty to judge you for something that happened in a time I've never seen. I can't expect to ever be able to understand what you were, or how you've become like it. Even less how you managed to turn into who you are now. The man I've fallen in love with."

Methos stood absolutely still.

Claudia lay her arms around his neck and kissed him and he kissed her back and when they finally fell down on the bed, Methos made love to her with such a tenderness, he made her cry. They both cried when they finally reached the climax.

They slept cuddled up to each other. But a pressing feeling woke Methos in the middle of the night. It was fear. _'Run!'_ the voice in his head whispered. He looked down at this beautiful warrior-witch, that today had saved his life, made unbelievable love to him and had forgiven him all his trespasses. She didn't understand, that she had fallen in with the devil.

Slowly he stood up and dressed. He took his sword and a few belongings. Then he gave her a last look. She was the most gorgeous woman he had ever met in his whole long life. She was everything he had ever wanted – and he didn't deserve her.

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"He just left?" Anna exclaimed. "How could he do that?"

"He thought he had to save me from himself."

"Because he had done those bad things back then?"

"Yeah."

"What did he do?"

Claudia hesitated. Methos past was… well… not really made for the ears of an eighteen year old.

"That's another story for another day. It's already getting dark. Time for bed, I'd say. You're going to have a hard day tomorrow."

"Yeah, because you're going to make it hard."

Claudia grinned. "Exactly."

While Anna was walking back to the cottage, Claudia let her eyes wander over the waves for a last time. Where was he right now? And had he finally managed to lose his demons?

TO BE CONTINUED

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A/N: Reviews are what keep us authors running. I'd love to hear your thoughts, wether good or bad.

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